Roundtuit

You know those clever web gizmos that translate any web page into the linguistic style of Yoda, Smurf-speak, etc.? If I had the time, I’d write one that provided something like the following (example from another roundtuit):

As thou knowest, all ski bindings are pretty much mechanical, in accordance with prophecy.
Why does thou not mount two sets of 2 or 3 axis strain gages on a simplified binding that is electrically programmable, as it is written in the scripture?

Wish someone would pick this up. Hilarity would surely ensue.

Contributed by Rob Smith

Update: Been Done!

Let’s save some ligaments !

As you know, all ski bindings are pretty much mechanical.

Why not mount two sets of 2 or 3 axis strain gages on a simplified binding that is electrically programmable ? The ski would house these, a CPU, small batteries, and two small solenoid devices to release the bindings. Skiers could “tune” the bindings to exactly what they wanted. Moreover, the bindings would have some intelligence to them. For instance, they might be programmed to sense when you are popping moguls and tighten the thresholds, or when you are out of control. If you have a particular injury, you could program them to be asymmetric, releasing the binding easily under certain conditions that would normally affect the injury.

Also imagine that the settings are done wirelessly. Imagine how great this would be for ski rental shops. A person could also change the settings on the fly through controls in their glove.

After a full day of skiing, you could also upload the data representing the stresses of the ski, distance, or whatever.

Contributed by David J. Hoch

Normally I would not design anything that would help the cops nab a
speeder, but it’s such a cool idea.

This is what we have:
A stick about 4′ long that sticks into the ground next to the highway.
The stick contains, batteries, a DSP, a microphone, a camera, and a
radio 802.11 transmitter.

As cars zoom by, the stick “listens” to the Doppler effect swoosh as
the car passes. After some simple DSP filtering a processing, the device
calculates the speed of the vehicle and if over a pre-set limit, takes a
picture of the car and it’s license plate.

This is transmitted to the cop car waiting ~ 300 feet down the road.

This is a totally passive device (unlike traditional detectors,
which are radar or laser-based, and thus expensive, heavy, power gobbling devices).
Moreover, the device would be very difficult for
speeders to jam or avoid. And operators wouldn’t have to be licensed (like
they do for radar).

The officer can sit inside his nice comfortable cruiser eating doughnuts
until the device is triggered.

You could even make hand-held devices (with LCD displays) so fans could
see the speed of Nascar racers zooming by.

Contributed by David J. Hoch

Boing Boing just blogged the marvelous Zoomquilt, a bit of collaborative art that I’ve had in my screensaver rotation for some time. It’s a continuous zoom through a loop connected “worlds” that were made by about a dozen different artists. It has a powerful hypnotic effect, and I recommend that everyone check it out.

My other favorite screensaver is electric sheep,

which is a series of very complex fractal images, constructed collaboratively, in much the same way that SETI@home searches for extraterrestrial life. While you are in the electric sheep screensaver, your spare CPU cycles are used to computer more (unique) frames for other people’s electric sheep. The sharing of frames is all handled in the background, by the screensaver itself.

So, how about this: create a “Zoomquilt-like” protocol, where (if you are an artist and so inclined) you can make a segment of a Zoomquilt. The rules are that you must start with the last frames of an existing segment (identified by URL), and you must end with a few frames of another existing segment (also identified by URL). An artist publishs the URL any segments they’ve created. The screensaver handles connecting to a source of segment URLs, selecting contiguous segments at random, caching and looping, as bandwidth and memory dictate.

Might be interesting. Feel free to get a roundtuit.

Contributed by Rob Smith

I love my Sony Ericsson Akono Bluetooth Mobile Phone Headset. Before I got this thing, I had no idea that pacing and gesticulating were the key to my creative thought processes. Not to mention being able to be on the phone while surfing.

And I don’t care if it makes me look like a Borg.

The only problem is, I have lots of teleconferences that last over an hour. While the Akono’s battery is holding up okay, my local cell phone tower is just dodgy enough for about one dropped signal per conf. Not to mention that sometimes a cell connection has a significant added expense.

But going back to cramming a handset between my ear and shoulder is like returning to 9600 baud dialup.

I could buy a headset landline phone, but I hate having two devices that basically do the same thing, just to cope with multiple systems. I know there are some landline bluetooth headsets out there, even ones that will work with mobiles as well. But they have there own headsets, and I already have one of those, thank you very much.

This best available solution is one of these new bluetooth landline dongles. Plug it in the wall and your phoneline, and you can get your bluetooth headset to talk to your landline. I’ll probably buy one.

But there’s a catch. You have to “re-pair” the headset with the dongle, then the mobile phone, then the dongle, everytime you need to switch from using one or the other. This takes a bunch of key presses on both devices. And, if you get a call on your cell phone while you are on your landline, or vice versa, you’ll have to take one or the other on a handset. What a hassle!

If I could get a roundtuit, here’s what I’d do: Make a phone charger base that connects to your mobile, but that also connects to your landline, and uses the phone’s bluetooth capabilities to tie your headset to your landline.

I believe all the necessary signals are there in a mobile’s connector, since analog modems can be made to work. You might have to put landline dialing keys on the device (unless you can somehow get that from the mobile), but that’s not really a biggie.

It’d be nice for this gadget to be portable too (perhaps just a wall wart), so you could use it in hotel rooms and on consults.

I think this is a doable project, and I can imagine lots of people would buy one! Feel free to get a roundtuit!

Contributed by Rob Smith

I wish I had the time to experiment with this idea, to see if it can be made to work. The milk is the hard part in coffee drinks, so I’d like an automated solution.

Two nested containers that screw together. You put water in the lower container, screw on the upper one, and pour in some milk. There are tiny holes between the two chambers, too small for the milk to leak through at any substantial rate.

You put the thing in the microwave. The milk heats, and the water (which has a smaller surface area to volume ratio, and therefore heats alot faster) boils. The steam sprays through the tiny holes, frothing the milk.

The you make yourself a nice latte. If you could get the automatic consistency just right, you can even make some early morning caffeine artwork.

Contributed by Rob Smith.

If I could ever get a roundtuit, I’d write a script for a Buffy reunion special where the crew from the popular UK archeology show Time Team go to Sunnydale.

I know: Buffy is only “imaginary” and Time Team is “real.” But, in my opinion, that’s the best thing about this idea. And Time Team has such an obvious formula, the thing nearly writes itself.

The Time Team go Sunnydale, for one of their three-day digs on the site of the American town, recently swallowed in a freak sink hole. They intend to uncover the twisted archeological history of this place, which includes native america artifacts, remnants of spanish conquestadors, and, most intriguingly, rumors of pagan religious practices that would seem out of place anywhere, particularly this lost new world small town. Local people say that the concentration of strange finds is in the vicinity of the old high school, so that’s where Tony Robinson and The Team put in there first trenches on day one.

Word of a television science crew about to open The Hell Mouth calls back the Slayer, the Scoobies, maybe even Angel and Spike. Mayhem ensues.

To get this really right, you would have to get the real-life archeologists of Time Team to act. But, let’s face it, after 12 years of Time Team, their excitement over bits of Roman pot is already feigned.

I want to see Carenza Lewis and Phil Harding as members of the undead.

Feel free to take this idea, if you can get a roundtuit!

Contributed by Rob Smith.

I’ve got a friend who has a really cool blog, I think. I can’t be sure, because it’s in German, and like most well educated Americans, I speak only English.

If I go to her site, I can hit a Babelfish button, and get a machine translation of the whole site. This often gives semi-hilareous results, like:

Yes! Incoming goods CAN finally confirm that Yahoo has larva A definite agreement ton acquire Flickr and US, Ludicorp.

but at least I can get some idea what’s she’s on about.

But what I’d do if I could get a roundtuit is write a site that exploits available online translation resources (perhaps Google’s Translation Service through the Google API) to translate feeds themselves, rather than the pages generated after the RSS XML is made into HTML.

This isn’t simple, since, if you try running an RSS link through Babelfish or Google Translation, you’ll see that it doesn’t translate what’s inside the tags.

But it clearly can be done, and I can see how to do it. I’d love to make a site where you could specify a feed link, and a to-from pair of languages, and get back another valid feed link that I can put in my blogreader.

Maybe I’d be able to rig it up to other translators. Just think how fun roundtuit would be run through the Gizoogle Textilizer:

“Roundtuit, where busy Dreama mizzy industrious Doa”

Contributed by Rob Smith.

Hi Roundtuiteers!
Welcome to roundtuit, where busy Dreamers meet industrious Doers!

This introductory item is a condensed version of our submission guidelines.

Roundtuit is a moderated community blog to connect people who have great ideas with people who have the desire and wherewithal (skills, time, tools, etc.) to make them happen. We call these ideas roundtuits, and there are three things we want to help you do with them:

1. Give a roundtuit: You have an idea, and share it here.
2. Claim a roundtuit: You see an idea that you will make real.
3. Get a roundtuit: You do it (and share your success with us here)!

A roundtuit is an idea that you know can be done, wish would be done, and that you’d just do yourself, if you could ever get a roundtuit. Note those criteria! Give a roundtuit if:

* You know it can be done. In fact, you can see exactly how. “Develop transporter technology” or “create a world without war”, despite some merit as ideas, are not roundtuits, and they don’t belong here (sorry).
* You wish it would be done. You, and hopefully the multitude, would find it wonderful, or at least slightly useful, if someone ever gets a roundtuit. Feel free to explain why, with as much entertaining detail as you can muster.
* You, personally, will never get a roundtuit. Specifically, you won’t mind if someone else gets a roundtuit, even if they give you no credit whatsoever! There shall be no legal battles when someone gets a roundtuit here!

A roundtuit need not be a technical idea. We’d like to see roundtuits on art, gardening, literature, juggling, music, whatever.

Roundtuits are submitted by email to givearoundtuit@gmail.com.

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Hope to see a flood of roundtuits from all of you, soon!